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Dec 16, 2005
wow, its been so long since i've been on here. blogdrive kinda sucked and so i left it for xanga and suddenly its cool.
i'm not entirely sure what just happened bu ti know its not what i wanted. i wanted to talk to him, but i needed to talk to him about important stuff. whatever. it can wait another night or so i hope.
ugh. i give up on boys.
Posted at 09:49 pm by Rhiannon69
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Oct 15, 2005
Look How They Shine For You
Halfway to Halloween and almost home. I feel sad but wonderfully happy. Everything feels...right...for now. I'm sore and terrified and praying for time to move forward and at the same time stand still, but I love it. Living your life isn't and will never be about doing as much as possible every minute of consciousness. It's about just going, and trying to find things that make you happy. I've been so worried that maybe I'm missing out on something, like I'm letting time slip by unnoticed, but I'm living my life, and I finally see that now. Maybe it took me seeing it to start.
I'm going to go watch SNL and blow of my homework for another night.
"This is the only photo I have of you. You are the most beautiful person. you fell in love and married. I saw you on the street but you didn't see me. I should've stepped into the light. Take care. Be happy. Thank you."
--Anon.
Postsecrets.com
Posted at 09:17 pm by Rhiannon69
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Oct 5, 2005
Hilarious Conversations From The Dark Side
Wickedwitch8888: he he i'm kidding. i don't feel good.
joedc532: you got the Asian flu. its deadly. what color do you want the casket? black? or lime green?
joedc532: ok...so thats lime green?
joedc532: ok so we're good.
joedc532: oh wait....you want dark purple flowers and a pink dress for your burial right?
joedc532: and you want your plot next to Steven's, Mac's, or David's?
joedc532: ok David's....and that's a blue headstone with a huge Crusifiction scene over it?
joedc532: ok well! your arrangments are set!
joedc532: yay!!!!
Wickedwitch8888: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wickedwitch8888: *long fade-out screaming scene ending w/crescendo of music*
Wickedwitch8888: stage light up on joe and haley at burial site
Wickedwitch8888: was set exactly to match joe's plane
Wickedwitch8888: *plan
Wickedwitch8888: joe: i never knew she actually had the flu
Wickedwitch8888: haley: who could have known?
joedc532: lol.
Wickedwitch8888: (just then david walks up)
Wickedwitch8888: (he waves, climbs into hole next to brittany's grave and buries himself alive)
Wickedwitch8888: (joe, enlightened by death of david, proceeds to help)
Wickedwitch8888: haley: (joe climbs out of hole) well, it's too bad alex wasn't here to see her off.
Wickedwitch8888: joe: oh, he was.
Wickedwitch8888: (points back to where behind bars of armored car under supervision of two prison guards alex peers at them and the grave, foaming at the mouth.)
Wickedwitch8888: haley: (smiling) finally, we're all back together.
Wickedwitch8888: END SCENE
Posted at 08:18 pm by Rhiannon69
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Oct 1, 2005
I am not under any orders to make the world a better place--Reality Bites
The other day I was writing the date on my paper and thought about how every year I look back on all my stuff from August and think about long ago it all seems. I realized that in what will feel like days from now I will be miles from here and still thinking about why I'm alone.
But that's a total lie. I'm not alone. I'm alive and I'm not stupid so I don't need to act like I am.
To my freinds: I begrudge you nothing. Be happy when you get the chance.
I think of myself sometimes like the dork in those movies who stands there at some party looking stupid and waving to the cool people cause she thinks they're looking at her.
Ice Princess is a valid commentary of our society in the fact that for some strange reason when you hit 40 you forget entirely what it was actually like to be 15.
And to alexx, i hope you find someone who makes you happy. and if you don't find her in the next two minutes, i promise it'll be ok.
Posted at 11:11 pm by Rhiannon69
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Sep 26, 2005
Actually I don't have anything that amazing. I guess I'm just a lot happier now, or something. Despite that today completely sucked. I forgot my money but managed to scrounge up $2.25 for lunch by asking everyone fo rwhatever change they had. It was pretty sad. Then, and now this is a funny story:
Last Wednesday morning I was drinking a coke and I felt one of the brackets on my braces wiggling. Turns out the glue just decided to not stick that day for the hell of it. Well, I just left it alone and figured I 'd get it fixed. I went the whole morning with it annoying the crap out of me, until lunch. In last period I realized suddenly that it wasn't there. Apparently I swallowed it. Metal, rubber, glue and all. No one told me it could just slide off the back of the wire like that. So they had to put that back on.
Plus, I fell asleep in chem class and Pyles got mad at me cause we were taking notes. I didn't sleep great last night to say the least. Weird dreams. Other than that though it was awesome.
Here's a couple of people backstage during rehersal.
 
 
Hopefully by next entry I'll have a picture of Alex to put up here. Oh, and one of Andrew! He he.
Posted at 07:57 pm by Rhiannon69
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Aug 19, 2005
My Life In Three Pictures or Less
Joe and Haley
Laddy on the Couch
(despite orders not to--he's like eighty so when you tell him to do something he just looks at you like "Screw Off")
What Happens When I'm Alone For Long Periods of Time With a Camera Phone
Posted at 10:40 pm by Rhiannon69
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Aug 9, 2005
You Look Strong Enough To Rip The Ears Of A Gundark!--Han Solo
I finally watched the first Star Wars movie today, because I'd never get it from alex.
3 words: I LOVE CHEWY.
And I made another astounding revelation. I wanted to start this to put up anything I might write, poetery, short stories, what have you, and so far I've written two measley poems and one long monologue that could be considered plaguerism, which only drew one comment that is currently god knows where. And anything else I have to say is hardly interesting. I thought I would say things about myself that maybe people didn't know, or that I wanted to tell someone, something original or in some way unique. Turns out everything I have to say has already been said, better and by a thousand other people.
So in the end, the only withstanding reason I made this blog was apparently to bitch. As if ya'll didn't hear enough of that.
I went shopping and bought absolutely nothing interesting. Granted I didn't have as much money to be spending and so I tried to get all I could for as little as possible and thus ended up with absolutely nothing stylish but on the contrary, plain and boring. Apparently, this is where my next year in highschool is headed.
Everyone has their outfit picked out for first day of school. I'm personally think Haley and Hannah were right, It's only been three freaking months since I saw you people last, and the only difference is I'm fatter and you're uglier and more annoying.
I didn't really mean that. About most of you.
"Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with my microphone cord."
--The Wedding Singer
Posted at 08:47 pm by Rhiannon69
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Aug 5, 2005
So I kind of freaked out a little over the last few days. Maybe that's an overstatement. I've just been...out of balance. I feel very different from who I was a few months ago. I look back on the things I've done and I realize how stupid I could be, but I learned. And I know that I'm ok, and I'm going to be. Because whatever happens I'm going to make it because I have to. I can be strong. I'm not afraid of what's coming. I like my little niche and for everything to go nice and smooth and be uncomplicated but I've kind of woken up to the fact that eveyr little upset of my day to day is not going to be the end of the world. This right now is the trivial things that shape us. Life goes on, and all that. I just know that when I look back, I'm glad I'm different. I'm glad I've changed and that I can.
And I'm glad I'm not afraid. I want things in life that just sitting here and playing safe won't let me have, and it seems like lately that's all I've been doing. But I don't need to, and I don't need to worry. I think I finally got so tense that I just couldn't handle caring anymore. Or maybe I just finally grew up a bit.
Cheers. By the way, concerning Joe, I do not believe the bit about radiation from microwaves giving you cancer and crap, i was just telling you about a theory my grandfather has. And as I always say, at least I don't think dinosaurs were put there by the governments of the world to try to turn us from religious veiws on creation. Caugh Caugh Megan.
Posted at 10:42 pm by Rhiannon69
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Aug 3, 2005
My stomach hurts and I'm upset and I look in the mirror and I actually like what I see. And I feel like some outer part of me has just slipped away. I just said what I actually meant except for the fact I left out everything that made it matter at all. I'm only fourteen. For another five days. I don't know. I'm different i think, (am i supposed to be) but something else is. I've been writing this stuff lately that's so different. Things I guess maybe I wanted to, but I just can see now. And its been like six days and no one went to see random. No one said anything at all. I'd think maybe it was a failure except for the fact its so pretty. I think it would be easier to tell the people you want to know if you knew they weren't listening. If you know they'll never really hear it. I wish sometimes that I was brave and stupid and would actually say what I mean. But I'm not confrontational, I'm not strong. I'm weak and I'm wishing I wasn't, that I wasn't going to dream half my life away. You can live in sleep. You can live better than anything out here because you never have to say I love you and they always understand. People actually understand each other, when they look they see, when they touch they feel, when they say they think, when they listen they hear. They say some women are strong when they moan and bitch and whine and break only because they are feirce in whatever they do. I am feirce in dreams. And in hope. And I am happy in life.
Is that not enough?
I will I am.
Posted at 09:57 pm by Rhiannon69
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Jul 26, 2005
Don't Call Me Mock Pocket!
This is a monologue I wrote today inspired and based on a monologue called Jack and Jill from god knows what, Haley got it off of whysanity.com for me back during auditions for Theatre Production. I guess it might be considered a prelude to it, but because it is so obvious I'm putting up this disclaimer. Its a girl who comes home and is tell her best friend/roomate about something that happened with her boyfriend. This is all said kind of franticly while she's moving quickly and randomly around the apartment. The bolded parts is what I took out, but I wanted to post it intact.
Ok so it all started when he came to my work for lunch. Pretty normal, you know? I mean we do it everyday. We went to this nice little place on the corner, like five minutes from my work; short walk. And its a nice day, right? The sun is shining, birds are singing, you know that kinda crap. And all of a sudden, right in the middle of lunch he looks at me and says, (imitating him) "I think we should get married." (stunned mement of silence). What? Married? And I just flash forward to like ten years from now where I'm sitting on the back porch of our house and theres like four little kids just running around screaming with our little...terrrier named like Jo-Jo or something. And now there's this monsterous commitment sitting there on the table between us. I mean, you know, "until death do us part." Which first of all, where do they get off with the whole "death" thing? Why's it gotta be "until death do us part"? Why can't it be "until I get tired of you" or "until you start sleeping with your secretary" or "i try to stab you with a kitchen knife" or something, you know? I mean it's only been two years. I'm only 29. Some people don't even get married till they're like forty or fifty and they're sad and old. But I could be that. I could be sad and old and alone and live happy until finally out of desperation I sell myself out to someone older, with more money.
And so I'm sitting there and I just can't help thinking that...this was a nice day. I ordered a sandwhich, it was good sandwhich. Our relationship was good, we were doing fine. I was happy. And then he just sideswipes me with this marriage thing like its nothing. (imitating him again) "I think we should get married." This was worse than that time he said "i love you". I mean that was a nightmare. I just sat there dumbstuck---which,...this also happened at lunch. at the same place. what's with that?---and of course the first thing that just falls out of my mouth is (light and cheery) "i love you too honey". Oh god. So he asks me to marry him and I just sit there and then...Oh god. (colapses on couch.) I said yes
Posted at 10:13 pm by Rhiannon69
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I'm starting this as mainly just a summer blog (despite the decor) because I'm lazy and when school comes around again I'm probably not going to "love it" anymore--so say my friends. The name and soon-to-be better design spawned from the many nights we have all spent in my mom's car driving around our tiny bubble of a town, with no actual destination. I wanted to have a blog that I could say anything on. By this, I don't mean rant about the government or my religion or gay rights, I mean rant about the bs that actually affects my life. I write poetry, on occasion, as well as spend my days couped up in this house all by myself, thus spawning many theories, such as the Undiscovered Color and the widely disputed conspiracy over Toaster Struedel. Actually that was complete bull. Except about the color. So yeah. Then he got mauled and died and now my shirt smells like chili, and I was like "hey naked person, get out of my house!"
Last time, I promise.
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